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queerchesters:

arterialspurt:

queerchesters:

fun date idea: Go down on me while I shop online with ur credit card

I don’t think someone could focus on the internet while I was going down on them.

you over estimate your skill and underestimate the joy of shopping

quick-cashing:

skisin73:

Well if my princess MUST wear panties… They better be princess appropriate

I’m not your princess 💀
cca-is-humane:

The things I send my friends

Sasha Grey by Gregg Segal
can-u-not-my-wayward-son:


can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

why is there a huge jug of oregano??? who the fuck puts oregano in brownies?????

i have been informed that it is not oregano but is in fact marijuana

asparagays:

today my art teacher started drawing something on the board and said “im not an artist so” but then she realized what she was saying and sat down

d0gbl0g:

thatonenerdybroad:

eddietg:

If you own a dog, please share.

Even if you don’t own a dog, please share

it’s important to note spaghetti-o’s AREN’T on this list so take that for what you will

lilith-not-eve:

Marrying young is not the end of my freedom. It means I want to travel and see the world, but with her by my side. It means I still like drinking in bars and dancing in clubs, but stumbling home with her at 2am and eating pizza in our underwear. It means I know that I want to kiss those lips every morning, and every night before bed. If you see marriage as the end of your ‘freedom’, you’re doing it wrong.

sassking-trevor:

cassbones:

lesbe-nerdy:

chanellecassidy:

saber-chan:

My parents aren’t home

You know what that means

*sits in the living room instead of sealing myself away in my room*

this is too accurate 

*parents close the door*, *emerges slowly from room like an easily startled deer*

*Parents come home* *scurries back to room like frightened squirrel*

Y’all think this is a joke but it’s 100% accurate

Europeans:
I drove forty minutes to the Netherlands for some groceries and then I popped into Germany to see some of my relatives before driving back home.
Americans:
I was in Florida, I drove for nine hours, now I'm still in Florida.
#australians:
i drove for nine hours #now i'm nine hours away from home #no one is here #the streets are empty #how did this happen #where has civilisation gone #i am alone in the universe #oh wait no there's an echidna it's okay
lordoftheinternet:

angry90slesbian:

This lady is wearing pants with HER OWN FUCKING FACE ON THEM

true success

so i was in the bus with this granny by my side when we spotted two girls kissing by the bus stop. the granny turned to me and said “these girls are so pretty. at their age i was pretty ugly. well, maybe that’s why i had to marry a man” i almost died omg

(Source: sixelya)